Tattoos, Tattoos, And More Tattoos

TATTOO word

Can you guess what today topic is?

When I was 18, I got my first tattoo. Didn’t know at the time but I was manic.

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My first child at this point was, 1-year-old. I was going through mania (little did I know). I wanted to express myself. To have something to look back on in regards to missing out of my childhood. As I had my child at a young age. So what better way to express myself than in a tattoo!

Boy, did that son of a bitch hurt! As you can see, 20 years later and I still haven’t colored it in! Frankly, its such a detailed piece, I have never quite figured out what to color it. So it has stayed an outline. I do plan on getting it finished in the coming year.

My second tattoo, I also got during mania (a growing habit). I got my husband’s name on my leg. Unfortunately during another mania, I had it covered up! Something I do regret. But I can’t change that now.

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Seems when I go through a powerful episode I get a new tattoo. It took me a few years after my diagnosis to pin point why. I seem to ache for completion. Of what, I don’t know. But a new tattoo seems to end a mania.

Mind you, I hate needles. Can’t stand having blood drawn. But the feel of a tattoo is something different! I enjoy expressing myself through art, and my body art tells a story about my history. Good, bad, or indifferent!

Not a lot of people can relate, but then again a lot can relate!

Every manic episode, a new tattoo. Until I was diagnosed Type I Bipolar.

I have about 9 tattoos now, and doubt I’m finished. It’s sort of addicting!

My third tattoo I again got during mania. I know what your thinking “If I don’t control my mania, I’m going to run out of skin!” I recently had a friend tell me that! Luckily, I’m on medication and go to therapy regularly!

I was feeling euphoric, high on life, and in absolute love with my husband. So how do I show and express that? You’re good! Yep, another tattoo! I’m most proud of this one though. It represents my love for my husband, and how I see him. He is my savior, my superman! I am his Lois Lane, always in need of him.

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It was thanks to my husband who saw the patterns in me. He was the one who put it all together. The reason why I got help, and diagnosed!

My fourth tattoo is a little unique. It’s of the Egyptian goddess Hathor, and the demigod Seth. This represents me. Beauty & Chaos joined as one!

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My other tattoos are of my astrological sign, representing my birth. A black panther, representing my grandmother. She was very influential in my life. And last but not least, I have an Aztec butterfly. This one has a funny story. Well sort of sad I guess.

I was going through another bad manic episode, I was really mad at my husband (for no good reason), and there happened to be a Tattoo Convention. I decided to go in public, and get a tattoo to spite him. Needless to say he was less than happy with me. Couldn’t say I blamed him. I had just gone (again) and got another tattoo, but did it in a public place (granted there were several others doing the same). It was a little embarrassing now that I think about it.

The reason why I didn’t include the pictures to my other tattoos, well its simple. I could reach well enough to take a picture! Lol!

I’m full of artistic stories. Some I’ve told, some I keep to myself. But a tattoo is a very personal work of art!

I hope you’ve enjoyed my walk down memory lane!

If you any questions or comments or wish to share your tattoo story, please do so in the comments. You may also DM me personally via Twitter.

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bipolarme

bipolarme

Living with type 1 bipolar disorder, PTSD (due to childhood trauma), Rapid Cycling, and Seasonal Affective Disorder. Writing about my life experiences.

0 thoughts on “Tattoos, Tattoos, And More Tattoos

  • August 25, 2014 at 11:50 pm
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    I can identify with the tattoo thing. Thankfully I only have one, but I made that bugger count. I got a giant cross tattooed on my back like I was Jesus Christ or something. I don’t remember much other than I tossed money at the tattoo artist to get it done in one sitting. Here’s the weird part. I am not even close to religious most of the time. Only during some episodes. So, I get to carry this freaking cross on my back forever because of one decision I made when I was seventeen.

    The needle thing, I also get. I hate needles with a passion. I once passed out in the hospital emergency room after they took my blood and woke up with the worst hangover in the world surrounded by a bunch of strangers asking me if I was okay. How would I know? I didn’t even know what day it was. That kind of threw me back into a needle phobia I had as a child.

    Tattoo’s though. They don’t bother me, but please I tell myself, don’t ever get one again. If I tell myself that enough times I might actually listen while manic. lol

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