It’s been a long time since I placed my feet into employment. I was diagnosed with bipolar 1 disorder in 2012. Although due to my instability prior to my diagnosis, I was unemployed for a few years further back.
Prior to my diagnosis I quit my job of 5-years due to over anxiety and paranoia. Little did I know I had bipolar disorder. It wouldn’t be but a few years past my quitting my job that I would fall prey to my worst manic episode ever! I totally lost control of my life, my marriage, and overall stability.
Things got so bad, my husband almost had me admitted into the hospital. He was scared and didn’t know what to do. Luckily, after a few months of spiraling out of control, I started coming down from my mania. We did seek professional help, and that’s when I was diagnosed.
It’s been several years of trying to cope with all the ups and downs of this disorder. The numerous changes in medication to find balance. Trying to cope with depression, hypomania, mania, psychosis, rapid cycling, and the list goes on and on. Medication for me helps but doesn’t totally keep these symptoms from coming on. It’s taken me 4-years to find a kosher balance with it all.
Over the past few years my husband and I have entertained the idea of opening up our own business. My husband builds websites, graphic design, and marketing. My role is to handle the accounting and manage social media.
Only recently has an opportunity come about for us to really put our dreams into reality. We talked thoroughly about this opportunity, and whether or not it was a good time for me, and whether or not I could handle it.
Well, we took the plunge!
I have made a commitment to staying as stable as possible by taking my medication as prescribed, making all my doctor appointments, and communicating with my husband, any and all issues that may arise. So far nothing has triggered me. Although, working 9-5 hours has made me super tired. I get home after work, make dinner, and pass out for a few hours. Something I need to work on. But I’m super glad I haven’t been triggered by this new venture.
Prior to all of this I wasn’t sure I was ever going to be stable enough to work again. It seemed so far a reach to accomplish. My anxiety had gotten so bad over the years; I was placed on the medication Ativan to calm my nerves. I still take Ativan as needed, but not as much as I use to. I’ve been stable for three consecutive months in a row. Which is the most consistent I’ve been stable in over 4-years!
So it seemed a good time to start our business!
I am not oblivious to the possibilities of an episode, but I’m taking it literally one day at a time. The best approach. It’s definitely been a real adjustment to handle so much change and demand of a new job, but it’s also been a bit fun to get my toes wet after several years off.
I implore to anyone who is trying to get back to work, not to jump in without fully looking at the big picture. Talk to your doctor, psychiatrist, and therapist to be sure you have the green light to go back to work.
I did take my own advice and have my doctors on my side. As a matter of fact, they all thought it was a good idea to help me get out of my house more often, get more exercise, and talk to people again.
Working again has actually been therapeutic!
As time goes on, I will keep you all updated to my progress and how I’m doing with all the change. But so far, so good!