My Return

It’s been quite a while since my last post. A lot has happened since then. I fell into depression, a bit of mania, and laziness to be frank. It’s hard to come back from all of that, but necessary to get back into a positive swing of things. Like I said, a lot has happened in the last several months. I think it all started about 15 months ago when my beloved dog Leona passed away suddenly. It took my family by surprise. She was a healthy dog, so her passing put a ripple in our lives.

I don’t think I recovered from that until now. It triggered me into funky moods. I never fell to far, but took a beating nonetheless. It’s hard when things trigger you. Regardless what it is, we must learn to pick up the pieces and move on. Life is full of sometimes unwanted surprises.

I haven’t missed a doctor’s appointment but have discontinued my therapy. I had another trigger that sort of put me in an awkward position. The psych clinic I go to and see my usual psych closed, and the psych I had been seeing for over 3-years left the practice. He took another job in Hawaii. I was told he was going to transfer to the new clinic I was going to be placed.

Suddenly I lost not only the clinic I was accustom to but my psych was leaving too!

I went to my first appointment at the new clinic (county mental health), where I was told they didn’t have regular doctors for me to see. I was going to have to get used to seeing a nurse practitioner instead of a psych, but the clincher is I see her via video chat like Skype. I have done this for the past few months, and frankly I don’t like it! It’s very sterile and impersonal. The new clinic isn’t very efficient, and I can’t reach a live person when I need too. I went from seeing my psych every month to every 2-3 months.

I struggle to get my medications filled appropriately and on-time, to make matters worse.

This change has made it difficult for me to try to stay on my meds, especially without real help or adequate care. I know a lot of us fight for stability, I feel like that is what I doing now, fighting for help! Unfortunately, I don’t have very many services available to me to make any changes for better help. I just must buck-up and hope for the best.

To add to matters I have an additional health matter. About 2-months ago I was diagnosed with a seizure disorder. If bipolar disorder wasn’t enough!

So, you see, there has been a lot going on in my life.

I have veered away from social media for a while too. I’ve sort of become a recluse. Depression kicked in and I haven’t done much. Unfortunately, I’m no longer able to take any anti-depressants because they put me into mania. So, I’m left to my own devices on getting out of it myself. I’m sure if it got really bad my new clinic would prescribe me meds but for the most part it hasn’t been so bad that I couldn’t figure things out. It just takes a bit more time.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel though! I just got a new puppy!  Her name is Sadie, and she is a dachshund. She is helping me get through this depression, and training her has given me something positive to focus on. I want to be and feel better, and now having the drive to make positive things happen!

We all go through trial and tribulations, but it’s how we handle them that makes all the difference.

My apologies for being absent for so long, but I did need a little time to refocus. I will be writing again, and participating in social media too! I want to be helpful to all who need help in this, I always say “You are NOT alone!”



Living with type 1 bipolar disorder, PTSD (due to childhood trauma), Rapid Cycling, and Seasonal Affective Disorder. Writing about my life experiences.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Think Positive

Dr. Stephen Covey

Every human has four endowments- self-awareness, conscience, independent will and creative imagination. These give us the ultimate human freedom... The power to choose, to respond, to change.

Demi Lovato

No matter what you're going through, there's a light at the end of the tunnel and it may seem hard to get to it but you can do it and just keep working towards it and you'll find the positive side of things.

Elbert Hubbard

Positive anything is better than negative nothing.

Helen Keller

Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow.

Joseph Campbell

Find a place inside where there's joy, and the joy will burn out the pain.

Leah LaBelle

Work hard for what you want because it won't come to you without a fight. You have to be strong and courageous and know that you can do anything you put your mind to. If somebody puts you down or criticizes you, just keep on believing in yourself and turn it into something positive.

Norman Vincent Peale

Change your thoughts and you change your world.

Maya Angelou

I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.

Oscar Wilde

Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.

Maria Robinson

Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.