My Loss Of Humor

Today it was pointed out to me that I have for all intents and purposes, lost my funny. I sat and thought about it, and its really sad but true. I find very little humorous anymore.I’ve recently watched a hilarious video of two comedians doing there thing. While my husband was laughing hysterically, I was left with a straight face. This isn’t uncommon for me lately, well to be frank its been like this for the last year or so.

I’m not sure why exactly. I use to be the easy going jovial person. I use to find laughter in the most stupid of situations. I suppose if I really put a pin on it, it has greatly to do with my battle with depression.

I was diagnosed with bipolar 1 disorder back in 2011. Although I went undiagnosed since I was 15 years old. I’ve battled depression off and on since the age of 15. Delving into deep thought and analyzing my history, I’ve suffered with serious loss of humor for many many years.

When I’m manic or hypomanic, I’m the life of the party! I find humor in the dumbest things. Though depression bring out this stale state of mind. I can’t imagine I’m the only one with bipolar disorder who suffers from this side effect of the illness.

Unfortunately, my psychiatrist will no longer prescribe me antidepressants as they seem to pop me into mania. So hoping to achieve a normal sense of humor is difficult on my own accord.

I’ve most recently battled depression since October, triggered by the loss of my beloved dog Leona. I think any sort of negative trigger just about ruins my ability to laugh at much. I wake up lately with my nerves on edge. I don’t find much interest in anything. My ability to function normally has become almost impossible.

I don’t wish to not be funny or find hilarity in the world. But for now, it seems to be my current reality.

I’ve come to terms with it for now. However, its now beginning to show effect in my house. My husband has pointed out my lack of humor, and my lack of interest on a daily. I feel bad! I don’t want to be like this.

I’ve tried positive affirmations, listening to upbeat music, art projects, socializing on social media, reaching out to family, etc.

Little helps, so I’m just sort of in this funk for the ride, I guess.

I wish there was a magical way to overcome these issues I’m going through. I wish some days that mania would creep up, as I’m so tired of depression and lack of interest in life right now. I

know that’s really not the way to resolve things, but to have a little bit of energy and the will to laugh at the little things would be awesome!

Do you have any helpful tips or ideas on how to cope with depression, loss of humor, and/or finding interest in life?

Please feel free to share your thoughts and tips in the comments.

bipolarme

bipolarme

Living with type 1 bipolar disorder, PTSD (due to childhood trauma), Rapid Cycling, and Seasonal Affective Disorder. Writing about my life experiences.

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