My Bipolar Christmas



How many of you have created an upheaval during a holiday, thanks to your bipolar disorder?

Well, I have!

This year I’m desperately trying to keep it together. I’m currently in full-blown mania. So not an easy task!

A couple of years ago, I was in mania during Thanksgiving. I had a hard-time staying at home. I was in that “fight or flight” moment, and found myself mostly taking off.

I even managed to go to the Black Friday sales. I scored some great deals, but in the interim spent a lot of money shopping. Not money I had saved for the occasion mind you.

I had separated from my husband too. Just wreaking havoc throughout my family! It was a destructive manic episode.

So, I sort of feel like I’m back at square one, again!

I’m desperately trying to change my moods, and reactions to this manic episode. To help myself I’ve talked to my psychiatrist and opened up honestly.

He changed my dose of my anticonvulsants, added an additional antipsychotic, and encouraged me to call the Crisis Center if I need help talking things out. This he says will help me not to take off and work out staying safe at home.

I’ve also discussed my situation with my therapist. She has offered to talk to me in-between appointments, and during the holidays. She encouraged me to call her anytime so she can help talk me down. This I am grateful for too!

I do often talk things out with my husband, although I do tend to block him out when i feel like taking off. I’m trying NOT to do this. As he is my caregiver, I should honor that he cares, and loves me dearly.

Christmas is but days away, and I’m taking my medication religiously. Last thing I want to do is ruin another holiday!

I have gone shopping, and figured out a budget I can live with. It has been hard, though so far, so good! I have not over-spent and managed to still buy presents for my family. My concern was how I was going to be able to NOT fall into the manic voices of “Spend, Spend, Spend!”

I brought my husband along with me to go shopping to be that positive yet encouraging voice to yield to my inner voice to blow lots of cash! He has helped tremendously to curb my inner spender.

For ALL of you in a similar situation, I can’t implore to you enough the importance of asking and seeking help! Whether a close friend or family member, lean on someone you trust for help through this time.

During the holiday’s it’s tough to keep that “holiday” cheer. But with open communication and honesty, I hope you can gain that much-needed support to get through this time of year.

If you have a story you’d like to share, please do so in the comments.



Living with type 1 bipolar disorder, PTSD (due to childhood trauma), Rapid Cycling, and Seasonal Affective Disorder. Writing about my life experiences.

2 thoughts on “My Bipolar Christmas

  • Avatar
    December 22, 2014 at 9:47 am

    Merry Bipolar Christmas, I have the same trouble with spending. Good for you for not going over budget. What a go, you should be proud of yourself.

  • Avatar
    December 22, 2014 at 1:29 pm

    It’s great that you developed a strategy – asking for support from all that is available. Mostly is a positive step to be honest, with yourself and with others. Not always easy to do as these manic impulses just feel too good to let go. Sounds like you’ve faced the monster and won! Well done!


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