Depressive Self-Reflection

During a depressive episode it’s often hard for those with bipolar disorder to look in the mirror and be happy at the appearance looking back.
Regardless if it’s an internal or external battle.I personally really struggle with this.

I often during this time see myself as a “loser!” Though I’m not, it’s a feeling/emotion I can’t kick!

I’ve gain weight from my medications, I fail miserably to workout regularly, and have a serious self-image issue.

Depression brings on all kinds of emotions:

  • Lack of self-worth
  • Self-conscious issues
  • Inability to find happiness
  • Suicidal thoughts
  • Destructive behavior/thoughts
  • Dissociation
  • Paranoia
  • Anxiety

Just to name a few. For me this cluster of negativity is a road block to healthier thoughts.

I don’t want to feel so down on myself, but really struggle to manage it.

Its been about three months of this depressive episode. Though I’m taking a cocktail of antipsychotics, anticonvulsants, and antidepressants.

These help, but I’m still battling and fighting depressive thoughts.

I’ve talked with others on-line who are experiencing a similar self-conscious issues. I know I’m not alone!

But it raises the question, “how to hurdle these negative and destructive emotion?”

My therapist has given me a few tips:

  • Find one thing a day that I find positive about myself (ex: I’m a good mom)
  • Do one thing positive a week for myself (ex: Get my hair done)
  • Write in a journal daily about my feelings (ex: I managed to not cry today, but found a positive emotion)
  • Find a simple activity you can do that is achievable (ex: Take a simple stroll outside)
  • Taking a few deep breaths
  • Sitting outside enjoying some fresh air
  • Call a friend, therapist, family member, or crisis hotline
  • Talk to your doctor about treatment options and progress
  • Keep a regular routine, such as going to sleep at the same time every night and eating meals at the same time every day.
  • Try hard to get enough sleep
  • Stay on your medication
  • Learn about warning signs signaling a shift into depression or mania
  • Expect your symptoms to improve gradually, not immediately
  • Educate yourself

My therapist has tried to assist me in finding a way for me to achieve small tasks. As during depression it’s sometimes hard to want to do simple things like brush your teeth.

I often find getting off the couch or even getting out of bed is often exhausting!

Though, small achievable tasks do help me feel somewhat better, even a little accomplished.

As for my appearance, I try to exercise. I try to get on my treadmill for 20-30 minutes a few days a week.

Yes, staying consistent is hard but even 1 or 2 days a week can really help!

I also have recently bought a sort of self-help book, to better assist me in feeling better about myself. Not normally one who reads these types of books. But it was something I found I could relate too!

I haven’t gotten all my depressive issues all quite figured out yet, but I think I’m on the right path.

bipolar hopes

How do you handle depression/self-consciousness? Please share your story.

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bipolarme

bipolarme

Living with type 1 bipolar disorder, PTSD (due to childhood trauma), Rapid Cycling, and Seasonal Affective Disorder. Writing about my life experiences.

5 thoughts on “Depressive Self-Reflection

  • May 25, 2015 at 8:21 am
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    Very interesting tips! I can relate to this to some extent. I have swings in mood/feelings that can be quite bad. I’ve never actually tried to get diagnosed for bipolar, but I strongly suspect I may have it. I need to bookmark your site for when I’m struggling….etc 🙂 Looks like there’s loads of good info and tips.

    Reply
  • May 26, 2015 at 4:37 am
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    Reblogged this on My Blog About Living With My Mental Illness and commented:
    I found this to be a very worthwhile post. It just sounds so much like so many depression sufferers I have spoken to. No one is doing this alone, I hope you enjoy it.

    Reply
  • May 26, 2015 at 4:40 am
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    I relate to this on so many levels. I would say, my wife, my blog (lifeofmiblog.com), and walking (I do a lot of walking)

    Reply
  • May 26, 2015 at 11:26 pm
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    Sometimes, even getting out of bed is too hard. But, one tiny step at a time. Uncurl, get one’s feet on the floor, make the bathroom, wash, dress, coffee, maybe some food. Stay off the pills and the booze. Get out into the sunshine… If I can do it…

    Reply

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Think Positive

Dr. Stephen Covey

Every human has four endowments- self-awareness, conscience, independent will and creative imagination. These give us the ultimate human freedom... The power to choose, to respond, to change.

Demi Lovato

No matter what you're going through, there's a light at the end of the tunnel and it may seem hard to get to it but you can do it and just keep working towards it and you'll find the positive side of things.

Elbert Hubbard

Positive anything is better than negative nothing.