Dating As A Bipolar

Dating flower

When I was 15, I started dating. My 1st break-up landed me into a severe depression.

I ate non-stop, stayed in bed, hardly made it to school, and attempted suicide.

It’s no wonder, I was bipolar! My mom took me to see a doctor, who would diagnosis me with depression (not bipolar).

I was put on Prozac. It did help me kick my depression, but also in time would put me into mania.

When I turned 16, I would finally start dating again. I met this cute guy (he was 18), and immediately would fall in love! He became my everything!

We went almost everywhere together.

My mother and older brother both worked graveyard and I would be home alone. My boyfriend would sneak out of his parents house just to come see me at night.

We started having sexual relationship. We grew closer and closer. We were in love.

It was around this time I would become manic. My decision-making was not kosher. My drive was high, my speech fast, I was the life of the party, I was for all intents and purposes, invincible!

He loved how spontaneous I was, how free I was, and how I just didn’t care about the what anyone thought. He loved the fact that I ruled the world!

I found out a few months into our dating that I was pregnant. We both were shocked!

I’m my manic stated I could only be happy about it. After all, I was invincible there wasn’t anything I couldn’t handle! I decided we should get married. He disagreed. I pushed it for a few weeks, then he agree.

We got engaged when I was 3-months pregnant. Hindsight, that was a terrible idea.

We told our families, who were not surprisingly, not so happy as I was about it. My boyfriend would eventually move in with me and my mom.

He got a part-time job, and tried to help me through my pregnancy which only lasted a few months before quit. Our son was finally born, and all just seemed so perfect!

Oh, how mania covers the reality of life!

It didn’t take but a few weeks for things to start to crumble. My boyfriend and I would fight off and on. My depression hit bad after my son’s birth.

My world was turning upside down. Only problem is I couldn’t see it. When my son turned 10 months, my boyfriend and I finally got married, I was 18, he was 20.

By the time I turned 19, our daughter was born. At this point we had broken-up and gotten back together several times. He became abusive verbally, emotionally, and physically.

I honestly think we got into this family thing way sooner than we should have. That, and coupled with my bipolar was a breaking point for him. Not to excuse his actions, but I understood it.

We broke-up…again! Then I started dating another man. He was 8-years older than me. I was just so smitten with him. He had a “real” job, had his own place, owned his truck, and was so kind to me. The opposite of my then husband.

We dated for six-months before I decided to finally for divorce from my husband. I was proud of myself for getting out of that abusive marriage, and found such a stable guy.

Though life seemed stable at the moment, it was a rocky as it gets. I filed for divorce (husband never contested it), got sole custody of my kids, and went through mania again!

I broke-up with my new guy, and moved into my dads place, who lived 12-hours away. I thought I was making a good choice, but mania rarely leaves you with good choices.

It lasted 3-months at my dads, and moved back to where I was. I started dating again, though I was still unstable. If I only knew I shouldn’t be on Prozac. That I was bipolar, I could’ve saved myself and my kids a bit of a hassle.

Dating while bipolar is a task. A heavy one. As I mentioned I wasn’t diagnosed until my 30’s. All my ups and downs were to blame on my bipolar disorder, and the misdiagnosis of depression.

I’m still in contact with my ex-boyfriend (not my ex-husband). We’ve remain friends over the years. I eventually told him about my diagnosis. It really helped him to understand my behavior towards him. I was very much mean to him, took him for granted, constantly broke-up with him,etc.

Dating while bipolar is as I said, not an easy task! My lack of stability made any and all relationships rocky. My personality during my dating is unnatural to who I really am.

I’m normally an easy-going person who is loving, caring, and nurturing individual. During mania I get distant, mean, and difficult to handle. Not a pleasant person to be around.

If you have a dating story you’d like to share, please do so in the comments.

Share
bipolarme

bipolarme

Living with type 1 bipolar disorder, PTSD (due to childhood trauma), Rapid Cycling, and Seasonal Affective Disorder. Writing about my life experiences.

3 thoughts on “Dating As A Bipolar

  • December 19, 2014 at 11:25 am
    Permalink

    Bare in mind that the average diagnoisis of bipolar takes approx 10 years with around 3.5 times being misdiagnosed with despression or anxiety. I was exactly the same i was misdiagnosed 5 years ago with anxiety and thrown antidepressants which made me feel great for a while but actually made me worse overall. I was finally diagnosed bipolar II about a month ago. I am lucky that my wonderful wife has been so supportive and stuck by me though all the ups and downs! You are not alone believe me!

    Reply
  • December 19, 2014 at 11:26 am
    Permalink

    I suffer from Depression, as far as I know I am not bipolar, but I see quite a bit of myself in your writings, I can certainly empathize with you.

    Reply
  • December 19, 2014 at 3:39 pm
    Permalink

    I do believe I sub-consciously married an alcoholic because we were both dysfunctional and I didn’t believe anyone else would want me. My childhood had consisted of being co-dependent so it’s logical I remain in that cycle later in life. We would trigger each other and feed into the destructive cycles that had the comfort of familiarity. He drank because I was crazy and I was crazy because he drank – that type of reasoning.

    Since leaving him, I’ve found dating in my age group (40’s) daunting. The side effects from my medication limit me in the whole experience due to embarrassment. My low self-esteem cripples me. And the varied dates I’ve been on, and 2 almost relationships, have left me feeling distrustful of men. I seem to be a magnet for predators. The past few months has me swinging from ‘yes I’m gonna join a dating site’ to swinging back to ‘hell noooo’.

    I’m also scared to date because I can’t predict whether I’ll be manic or depressed. We could meet and I’m on top form, bursting with energy, vivacious, positive. And then come our second date I’m withdrawn, morose and push my food around. And I’ll have to date around my energy levels. Some weekends I’m so done in by the week at work, I need to sleep. So what am I going to say if he wants to have a romantic picnic on the beach? Sorry I can’t come out and play today because I need to sleep. I may as well tell him I can’t see him ‘cos I’m washing my hair. Bipolar dating is a list of dillemma’s and disasters. That has been my experience. I wish it wasn’t so. I wish it was easier. Unfortunately the stigma is still alive and kicking potential dates in the opposite direction

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Think Positive

Dr. Stephen Covey

Every human has four endowments- self-awareness, conscience, independent will and creative imagination. These give us the ultimate human freedom... The power to choose, to respond, to change.

Demi Lovato

No matter what you're going through, there's a light at the end of the tunnel and it may seem hard to get to it but you can do it and just keep working towards it and you'll find the positive side of things.

Elbert Hubbard

Positive anything is better than negative nothing.