My apologies, its been a bit since my last blog. As you may know I’ve recently fell into a manic episode.
Its lasted about two months. I’ve struggled through it. Though, it did wreak a bit of havoc at home.
I did go through the usual suspects: Rapid and constant speech, spending money, saying things I don’t recall saying, paranoia, anxiety, delusions, etc…just to name a few.
I seem to be coming out of it (thank goodness).
But the trail of damage has already been done.
Most of you already know what’s next…yep, clean-up! Or as I’ve recently heard it referred to as “recovery.”
I sort of like that term, it sounds nicer.
I admit during mania, I missed a few doses of my medication. Sure it didn’t help, but I’m honest about it. I went through a period where I considered stopping my medication.
My sentiment isn’t uncommon, but I knew from experience what I need to stay mentally healthy and to get out of trouble, is to remain on my medication. It wasn’t an easy decision.
Medication seems to lessen the effects of my type 1 bipolar disorder but when in mania feel like it’s not doing enough!
After all, I hallucinate and hear things not even there!
Frankly, this scares the heck out of me! Medication or no medication, this haunts me!
My psychiatrist recently upped my medication and added an additional antipsychotic. Now I’m up to four-prescriptions. I take Abilify, Zyprexa, Trileptal, and Trihexyphenidyl.
The increase was to combat the mania. As I mentioned, I seem to be coming out of it.
How do I know I’m coming out of mania?
Simple! I’ve started falling into depression.
Oh yes, depression!
If the burden of “recovery” isn’t enough to handle, the impending “depression” is enough to drive my anxiety up!
I see my psychiatrist in a few weeks. I’m going to venture my medication is going to change a little, again!
Having bipolar disorder is NOT a walk in the park! Ups, down, and sometimes all at once. There is always a battle of some sort.
Whether or not its emotions, medication, hallucinations, delusions, etc…a balance is the hardest thing to come by!
But, I take this challenge seriously and personally. I fight it daily, and will continue too!
My motivation through all of this is my loving, caring, and supportive family! I am most grateful and blessed for there support, love, and understanding!
My husband is my caregiver, and without his strong, adamant, and caring support, I would be lost.
I’m looking at this impending New Year as a fresh beginning! I will stay on my medication, I will continue my therapy, and I will continue my exercise regime, which helps me stay not only physically but mentally healthy!
I wish you ALL a happy, healthy, and prosperous New Year!